


Checkmate

by SaltCore



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Humor, Justice Siblings, Language, M/M, Meddlesome Siblings, crack adjacent, human chimney Jesse McCree, longsuffering boyfriend Hanzo Shimada, neon troll Genji, tactical application of smooches, turbo lesbian Fareeha, ultimate blackwatch bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-26 13:55:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13237143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaltCore/pseuds/SaltCore
Summary: Just because Jesse ought to quit smoking for his health doesn't mean anyone is going to have a good time about it.Hanzo intervenes before there's a murder in the Watchpoint.





	Checkmate

**Author's Note:**

> This is a spiritual sequel to [Smoke Signals](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12462525/chapters/28361889) but it stands on its own.

Fareeha is trying to impress a girl. This is not the first time it’s landed her in an unfortunate situation, and it might not be the last. Just because she knows _why_ she’s doing this doesn’t really enable her to stop, however. She’s already in way too deep for that.

Jesse huffs again. Uncrosses his legs, then recrosses them with the other leg on top. He starts bouncing his foot on his knee.

Fareeha feels twitchy just looking at him.

Hanzo, at his right, is staring straight ahead. Even though his gaze is pinned about twenty degrees to Fareeha’s left, she still feels like it’s happening at her. They were holding hands—in a very pointed way, Fareeha felt—until Jesse wriggled free to cross and uncross his arms about five times. Hanzo didn’t really react to that. He appears to be doing his best impression of a potted plant.

He might be on to something. Jesse hasn’t tried to pick any fights with him.

Jesse jumps to his feet, glares, and goes for the door. Hanzo gets up and follows him without his expression flickering. A tasteless joke about which brother is the robot flits through her mind, but Fareeha sits on it. She’s on thin enough ice as it is. With a huff of her own she gets to her feet.

“Christ, ‘Reeha.”

Fareeha lifts one eyebrow.

“I can’t just go cold turkey!” Jesse snarls. A stranger might have backed off at that moment, because Jesse looks like a mean motherfucker, but Fareeha grew up big and strong on pissing off her big brother. Jesse can’t scare her.

“It’s not gonna kill you.”

She thinks she detects a flicker of intense skepticism from Hanzo, but he goes back to his ficus impression before she can be sure. Jesse digs his phone out of his pocket and types something out before putting it back and staring her down with a smug expression.

She doesn’t like that look.

Jesse goes back to the couch and flops down. Hanzo follows. Jesse takes Hanzo’s hand back. Jesse manages to sit still for five solid minutes.  Fareeha is deeply suspicious.

Genji sticks his head through the door. He blows a low long whistle between his teeth upon surveying the room.

“Whatever is happening here, it’s a lot,” Genji says, gesturing at everyone present.

 

* * *

 

Hanzo prides himself on his tactical prowess. It’s served him well in his life, but he’s had little opportunity to ply it in situations such as these. Mainly because there haven’t been many, but also because it seemed like the wrong approach.

Now, though, now he’s reconsidering.

Dr. Ziegler, in her infinite wisdom, has apparently brought Jesse’s sister into her employ on her crusade to spread health and wellness. Lofty and well-meant goals though those may be, they come with a real cost. A human cost.

Jesse is _fucking unbearable_.

Hanzo loves Jesse, truly. Jesse is the light of his life, the stars in his sky, and every other overwrought metaphor songwriters have set to music. Jesse makes him understand why people write those songs in the first place.

Nevertheless, Hanzo still wants to strangle him. Maybe not to death, just until he passed out. Anything to stop the fidgeting. And the huffing. And the griping.

He feels bad thinking it, of course. While Jesse is a grown man in control of his actions, Hanzo knows personally the agitation that comes with nicotine withdrawal. Anyone would be hard pressed to not be in a foul mood. Jesse’s just wearing it on his sleeve.

Hanzo hopes that if Jesse were ever to try to quit smoking of his own accord, he wouldn’t be so short. Of course, he’d have Hanzo’s full support and patience no matter what.  Having someone else make the decision for him, without any sort of chance to ramp down, well. It’s no wonder Jesse’s temper is on a hair trigger.

And he himself is a grown man, who could, in theory, just leave, but that seems unfair to Jesse. He needs support in his time of need, and Hanzo is no coward. He’d rather be at Jesse’s side when he’s being unbearable than fretting over him apart.

Hanzo does have to give credit where it’s due. It was a masterful stroke of Dr. Ziegler’s, sending Fareeha. Not only does she escape the fallout, it seems to be working. Jesse can’t make himself light up with his sister in range of the secondhand smoke.

Being a tactician at heart, Hanzo has been trying to think of ways to relieve Jesse’s, and by extension his own, misery. The quickest solution, of course, would be to get rid of Fareeha. Whatever her reasons though, they must be pressing, because not only is she putting up with Jesse and tailing after him wherever he goes, she’s also weathering the addition of Genji.

The three of them are now arguing. Genji, at least, seems to be enjoying himself, but he’s the only one. Fareeha and Jesse are almost nose to nose.

A solution presents itself. It might work. It would, at least, put an end to the noise for a moment.

Hanzo taps Jesse on his shoulder gently. Jesse spins around.

“ _What?_ ” he snaps. He looks briefly abashed and adds a much softer “Babe.”

Hanzo grabs him by the collar and hauls him down. He presses his lips to Jesse’s and takes immediate advantage of Jesse’s slack jawed shock to slip his tongue past Jesse’s teeth. He locks his arms behind Jesse’s neck to keep him from escaping, not that he seems particularly inclined.

Hanzo hears Fareeha vocalize her disgust, and he can’t help but smirk.

“Get it!” Genji shouts, apparently immune to his usual revulsion now that there’s someone more put off than he is.

“What the hell, Hanzo. Stop,” Fareeha says.

Hanzo runs his hands down Jesse’s back, stopping just above his belt. Jesse hums his encouragement. Maybe it’s Jesse’s bad influence, but he catches her eye and winks.

“Hanzo, you gross fuck.”

Hanzo runs his thumbs just under Jesse’s belt, tugging down in a pointed suggestion of just how far he is willing to go. Jesse, either having caught on or just getting caught up, plants one leg firmly between Hanzo’s.

“Okay, nope. I’m done, I’m out, just die then, Jess.”

Fareeha throws her hands up and then fairly runs out of the room. The instant Hanzo can no longer hear her footfalls, he pulls back. He has a lighter in one pocket and a single cigarette carefully tucked into his wallet. He shoves both into Jesse’s hands and then pushes him towards the window. Genji darts ahead and opens it before they get there.

Jesse moans obscenely when he takes the first drag. He keeps the lungful of smoke down for a few beats longer than usual before blowing it out the window. Normally he grouses about Hanzo’s menthols, but currently he just looks pathetically grateful.

“So this is romantic as fuck and all, but what are you going to do when she tells Angela?”

Jesse shrugs and takes another drag.

Hanzo hadn’t thought that far ahead. He rubs his fingers over his beard.

“Genji, would you happen to know if the doctor knows anything about freeclimbing?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, and feel free to hmu at https://saltytothecore.tumblr.com/


End file.
